Rebuilding His Life, One Day at a Time

In 1999, Ivan began struggling with drug use, discrimination, and severe mental illness, he was eventually diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar disorder. He began experiencing frightening visions and voices—some he recognizes as symptoms of his illness, while others he believes were spiritual attacks and acts of witchcraft from people he once loved and trusted.

The deepest pain came from within his own family. Ivan used his disability back pay to help buy his mother a beautiful trailer, only to later feel abandoned and betrayed by those closest to him. Yet even in that pain, Ivan chooses forgiveness, he says, “because that’s the only way you’ll make it to heaven.”

Two things kept Ivan alive: Jesus and art. He says, “Without Jesus Christ, I wouldn’t have been here.”

Ivan has come to Gospel Rescue Mission three times, but this time feels different. He entered the recovery program knowing “If I continue messing up and relapsing, I’m gonna die.”

During his classes, Ivan discovered healthier ways to fight cravings by reconnecting with the gifts God placed inside him. “Read a book, write a poem, start drawing—do something that you’re good at,” he says. Through recovery, he’s begun to rediscover his own worth and potential. “I learned about myself that I can do it, that I can take my life serious now.”

Today, Ivan uses his story to say “Gangs are not the answer. Violence is not the answer,” he says. “Be positive and optimistic. That’s the only way you’re gonna go far in life.”

At Gospel Rescue Mission, Ivan is no longer simply surviving. He is rebuilding his life—one prayer, one poem, and one day of sobriety at a time.